IT SHOULD NOT HURT TO BE A CHILD!
Globally, it is estimated that up to 1 billion children aged 2–17 years, have experienced physical, sexual, or emotional violence or neglect in the each year.
(Child abuse casts a shadow, the length of the life time)
AN
INTERVIEW WITH THE CHILD ABUSE VICTIM
Child maltreatment is certainly not a new phenomenon.
Unfortunately it has existed since the beginning of recorded history.
Even more unfortunate
is that it is on the rise across the globe.
We often associate
child abuse to broken bones and bruises.
In other words, to visible scars. Yet
other than physical abuse
There
are other types of abuse, which more often than not
go unnoticed because the scars are not as
obvious.
This type of abuse includes emotional abuse and neglect.
Q. Would you like to share your story with us? Things
you are comfortable mentioning.
I grew up in a household where neglect and emotional abuse were daily struggles. There was a constant sense of isolation and fear, and basic needs were often overlooked. My father was abusive with my mother from the start but gradually it started coming to us. I am 4th child of my parents and I had three elder siblings’ two sisters and one brother. And his behavior was alike towards everyone but I think me and my elder brother mostly got his wrathfulness . Out of nowhere he used to start abusing us. In early childhood it was quite hurtful then it became a part of life.it would be actually wonderful when he used to stay quite or does not say anything. I would like to mention an incident here, I was in grade 8th,it was evening around 6pm I came from my tuitions and was in my room and suddenly I heard voices from outside it was more than the usual thing so I went outside and saw he was hitting my mother, I could not take it so I tried to stop him but he started beating me instead, and from that day the vocal abuse changed into physical also. My mother said he was angry on something but from that day it started happening occasionally he used to get off his anger on me. like whenever he was upset on something he would come home and find any excuses to get it out on me. Once I closed my room's door to safe myself from his rage but he broke the window and get inside. It was the most horrific nights. Home is a place of peace for every person but for me it was not less than hell. All of this never stopped till now .But the difference is now it happens sometimes because the other time I am away from home for my studies. In all of this chaos my mother also could not focus on our well-being because she herself was devastated.
Q. Was
it difficult for you to admit that you are going through something like this?
No individual should turn a blind eye to child abuse. It is important to break the cycle when we find out that this is actually happening. It was the most rigorous phase to finally accept what you are going through and encouraging yourself to get out of it. Child abuse is one of those issues that’s very difficult to talk about because it’s surrounded by guilt and shame and so on, but society avoiding that issue doesn’t help kids in need out there who need support. It's taken years to come to terms with the impact it had on my life. FOUR YEARS, for four years I was in extreme depression, matric and intermediate the most growing years of a child's academics .I used to come from collage and just go to sleep without changing or getting freshen up. I used to sleep for 10 to 15 hours a day. A nd on weekends I used to sleep for straight 2 days easily without realizing it. Sometimes eating too much and other time starving myself to death. I was a bright student like I was a prefect till 8th grade of my class and seeing myself being wasted like that it was heart wrenching. Like just feel being this helpless to even move yourself without any physical disease. I could not even talk about it properly because it just took me in those traumatized days. Its not like it has ended now all abuse, whether physical, emotional, sexual or neglect leave deep, lasting scars which children carry with them into adulthood and beyond the time they were actually abused. As a girl living in this society it was paradoxical to leave the house or get any professional help because child abuse is not even considered anything. Self help is the most useful thing because nobody will come to save you.
Q. In your journey,
did you encounter challenges when trying to seek help or share your experience
with others?
Absolutely.
There's often a fear of not being believed or being blamed for the abuse. When
I initially sought help, I faced skepticism and hesitation from some
individuals. It's essential to have a support system in place and to reach out
to professionals who are trained to handle these situations with sensitivity.
Q. Do you think getting earlier help would save
you from a lot of consequences?
Growing up I realized
the earlier abused children get help,
the greater the chance for them to heal and not let the abuse inflict lifelong
problems such as lack of trust and relationship
difficulties, trouble regulating emotions and feelings
of being ‘worthless’ and ‘damaged’.
Q. What’s the most dispirited impact it has on
you?
There are lots of affects
like rounds of depression, sudden panic attacks but the worse of them all is I am
suffering from amnesia. I am just 21 years old and I have a life ahead of me. It
tears my heart whenever I experience something because of this. Imagine the
trauma that children of your age are thriving in life and you have to struggle
for basic survival.
Q: What
are some common misconceptions about child abuse and neglect that you believe
need to be dispelled?
There are a number of common myths surrounding
the tragedy of child abuse. Society tends to think that child abuse does
not happen in ‘good’ families. However, statistics show that child abuse
crosses all economic, racial and cultural lines. Another very common myth
is that the majority of child abusers are strangers to the child – yet the very
sad truth is that most abusers are family members or people who are very close
to the family. Children who have been abused do not always grow up to be
abusers. Whilst the chances of the cycle repeating itself
is a strong possibility, most survivors
indeed grow into strong adults who have
a strong motivation to protect their children
against what they went through and become
excellent parents.
Q. What advice
would you give to others who may be experiencing or have experienced child
abuse and neglect?
First and foremost,
know that it's not your fault. Reach out to someone you trust, whether it's a
friend, teacher, or counselor. There is help available, and you deserve to live
a life free from abuse. Healing is a process, but with the right support, it's
possible to reclaim your life and break the cycle.
Q. What changes or
initiatives do you believe are crucial to addressing child abuse and neglect on
a broader scale?
Education is key. We need comprehensive
programs in schools that teach children about abuse, their rights, and where to
seek help. And also I think there should be proper awareness programs for
parents as well on parenting and their obligations so no child have to go through
such a disaster in their lives. Additionally, there should be increased
training for professionals in various fields to identify and respond to signs
of abuse. Breaking the cycle requires a collective effort, and awareness is the
first step toward meaningful change.
Q. Finally,
what message would you like to share with those who may be supporting survivors
or advocating for change in their communities?
Believe survivors, lend a listening ear, and
be a source of understanding. By working together, we can create environments
where survivors feel empowered to speak out and where children are protected
from abuse and neglect.
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